Friday, November 15, 2013

Kinder Quotes

Anyone with kids knows that they really do say the darndest things. Especially this little guy. Keep reading for my favorite quotes (mostly) from my favorite 4 year old.

(After he  saw what I was cooking for myself, demanded some, and asked all of his siblings if they wanted some, too). 
Me: C, this is my dinner; it's not ok to offer to share food that isn't yours. 
C: but it's polite to share food with other people. 
Me: that's usually true, but sometimes food is just for one person. How would you like it if you got a bag of gummy bears, and I went around the whole house and asked who wanted a handful? 
C: you made eggs. That's not the same. I'm not stupid.

Overheard exchange between C and his 8-year-old sister E. 
C: (in a devastated wailing voice) E! E! MY MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME IS TOO SMALL FOR ME!

C: you're dumb. 
Me: well that's not nice and it's not true. 
C: of course it's true. 
Me: sucks for you, guess I'm too dumb to read you a bedtime story. 
C: Emma, you're soooooooo smart! 

On our way home from Kindergarten
Me: there are a lot of people in China: if you took 10 Germanys and put them all together, there would STILL be more people in China! 
C: WOW! So there are like 188 people there?!

I took the kids and four of E's school friends (ages 7-8, including Charlotte) trick-or-treating.
Charlotte: we HAVE to go to Bens house! 
Me: uh, whys that? 
Charlotte: because he's so stupid. 
Me: if he's so stupid, why do you want to go to his house?! 
Charlotte: to annoy him. I wouldn't expect a grownup to understand.

C: I got to the door first, that means I get to eat more lunch than you. 
Me: But I'm bigger. 
C: Well I'm faster. And smarter.

C: Emma, I can count to three in English, want to hear?: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7!
Me: That's great C!  That's actually all the way to 7, not just 3.
C: wow, I'm so good!

C: Emma, I can speak English!
Me: Cool, what words do you know?
C: NO!

C: On Fasching, we get to go to school in dress-up clothes, and if we start to sweat, we get to take them off. But not our underwear. We don't do that in kindergarten.

Jana (the children's nanny): you know how you Americans drink this thing called Gatorade after you exercise? Yeah. We drink beer.

Muttering under his breath after I tucked him in and turned the lights out:
C: human, witch, human witch, human witch! 

Kid's 12-year-old cousin S came over for dinner the other day:
S: Where in America do you come from?
Me: Very close to NYC.
S: New York City is just amazing -there are so many people, and they all have iPhones!

And my all-time favorite:
C: can I have a cookie, please?
Me: no, you and E have been rude really this afternoon, and rude children don't get sweets.
C: *looks at cookies* OOH, but we weren't THAT rude.

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